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The Girl Who Pretended to Be a Widow

Florence Scovel Shinn carefully observed the relationship between imagination, feelings, and the events of life. In one of her books, she shares the story of a woman she knew personally.

As a child, she loved pretending to be a widow.

While other children played princess, teacher, or nurse, she dressed in black, placed a long black veil over her head, and repeatedly acted out the role of a widow.

To her, it was only a game.

Years passed.

She grew up, fell deeply in love, and eventually married. Not long afterward, however, her husband died. For many years she wore black clothing and a long black veil—exactly as she had imagined so many times during her childhood.

Florence believed that the repeated image of herself as a widow had become deeply impressed upon her subconscious mind and, over time, was reflected in her life.

"Every identity we repeatedly accept within becomes a direction our life naturally begins to follow."

— Edmar Sasaki

Feeling Is the Bridge

Regardless of how we interpret this story, it invites us to reflect on something profoundly important.

The little girl was not merely imagining a scene.

She was assuming an identity.

For a few moments, she genuinely felt herself to be that person.

And perhaps that is the most important point.

It is not only the mental image that influences our lives.

It is the inner state that accompanies the image.

In this story, that impression appears to have been built through repetition. She returned again and again to the same role, the same idea, and the same emotional state.

But life does not always work that way.

Sometimes a single experience, charged with intense emotion, can leave a deep imprint on the mind.

A sentence heard during childhood.

A painful rejection.

A humiliating experience.

A medical diagnosis.

Or even a moment of extraordinary joy.

The event itself may last only a few minutes.

We may even believe we have forgotten it.

Yet the impression remains.

And many times, we continue reinforcing that inner state through the thoughts, reactions, and feelings that follow.

That is why the decisive factor is not always how many times something is imagined.

The decisive factor is how real it becomes within us.

Some impressions are formed through repetition.

Others are created in a single defining moment.

But both follow the same principle.

First, they become part of our inner world.

Then, they gradually find a way to express themselves in our experience.

So perhaps the most important question is not:

"What am I thinking?"

But rather:

"Who am I feeling myself to be?"

Because what we consistently feel ourselves to be—or deeply accept as true—naturally tends to be reflected in our lives.

Feeling is the bridge.

Feeling is the bridge